My experience with acne / accutane

Hey everyone!

So as you can probably tell from the title of this post this is not bookish. This is not related to any of my books or writing at all. But I have posted on social media about my struggle with acne and my experience with accutane and people seemed interested and wanted to know about it.

So rather than try and fit it into a facebook post that I will likely lose, I figured it would be easier to just post here where I could access the link any time I wanted to.

So if you are not interested in this then its totally cool, just close out and grab a book! I’ll be back with my normal writing and book related posts soon.

I want to start out by saying I AM NOT A DOCTOR. I do not play one on TV. I think I have written one – wait… actually I don’t think I have. I should. But anyway, I am NOT a doctor. This is NOT medical advice. I am NOT telling you to get accutane and it will fix your life or your acne.

This is purely MY personal experience with this medicine and how it helped my acne. If you are interested in accutane I STRONGLY suggest going to a dermatologist and consulting with them. It is a process to get this medication, its a process to take it. This is a serious drug and it has serious side effects. This drug is NOT for the faint of heart. Basically, this drug was my last resort to clear my acne.

Got me? Good.

So I’m not gonna bore you with my life story about acne. But I will say that I have had acne since I was a teenager. I’m 39 now. For a long time I was able to control it with over the counter treatments (I used proactiv for like 15 years it became to harsh for my sensitive skin) and I have tried pills (prescribed by a dermatologist) and creams, etc. I’ve tried natural remedies. Ever rubbed lemon, olive oil, honey, etc all over your face?

I have. It didn’t work.

And no not all at once. lol.

The pills made me throw up. The creams made my skin raw. An when I say raw, like RAW. I have very sensitive skin. Like I get a rash if you touch me wrong (I’m not kidding). The doctors would say “oh thats normal, but it helps your acne” to me that means replacing one problem with another.

No thanks. So I quit all harsh stuff. I started treating the skin instead of the zits. The inflammation, irritation, etc. It got better… but it didn’t clear and to be honest I realize now that it cause another kind of acne.

That’s right, folks, I didn’t have one kind of acne. I had TWO.

Love that for me.

Several years ago a dermatologist offered to put me on accutane. I almost did it. But then I got scared because it comes with a lot of side effects, monthly pregnancy tests and monthly blood work to check your liver, cholesterol levels, etc. And not much later I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis – an autoimmune disease (something I also have not talked about much). I was starting heavy treatments for that and I didn’t want to do both. So I didn’t go through with it.

Fast forward like four years later (?) my acne was so bad that my Rheumatologist thought I might have lupus of the skin. She sent me to a dermatologist (a different one than I saw before) for a biopsy of my neck. The acne on my neck was very severe. I also had it all over my back and face. Basically, and I say this with full transparency, I’ve had a zit just about everywhere. That’s graphic. My apologies. But its no less true, lol. I used to apologize to my husband almost daily because he had to look at me. I was embarrassed, upset and in pain. Acne does not feel good, folks. I literally could not take a shower without bleeding either on my face or my back or my chest. My face was red, swollen and a mess. It even got to the point where I sometimes didn’t bother with makeup because i felt like it was pointless to try and cover it up. I wore hoodies so I could tuck the hood around my neck because I (felt) looked like I had some weird disease and I thought people would be grossed out.

Going to book signings was hard and I tried my best to cover it all with makeup. All my photos online would be filtered, etc to cover up the acne and it was just something I lived with and never really talked about except at home to apologize to my family bc they had to look at me.

I asked myself every day why my body hates me so much because I not only have RA – where my body attacks itself, but I also had raging terrible acne.

Okay, so back to when my doc sent me for a neck biopsy. The dermatologist looked at me and said, you don’t need a biopsy. you have extremely oily skin (which shocked the hell out of me bc my skin would get dry and peel in some places) and you have 2 types of acne. Cystic and comedonal. He was like the only thing that will help you is accutane.

The month before I had literally just managed to get off Methotrexate which is a heavy treatment for RA – its basically a weekly shot of low dose chemo. and it made me sick, made my hair fall out, etc.

So in my brain I was like well I’m trading one poison for another. good for me. But I said I would take it because lets be serious… I had to do something. And since I put it off the first time because I was on meds for RA I was like this is my chance to do this while I’m not as much heavy stuff (i still take medication for RA just not the methotrexate). By the way, yes I tried changing my diet. eliminating things from my diet, etc. nothing worked. this was my last resort. I cried the whole way home, and I thought I was ridiculous even as I cried because big deal you have bad acne and need heavy meds. But it was a lot for me.

So basically for Accutane, you have to pledge to not get pregnant while taking this medication. Accutane causes severe birth defects in babies. They are so serious about the no pregnancy thing. They give you a HUGE folder of information and you have to sign up on an ipledge website and promise not to get pregnant. you also MUST use 2 forms of birth control. they ask you what they are. every time they see you. they see you every month. in order to get a refill of your medication (which you need monthly) you must have a negative pregnancy test and you have to answer questions on the ipledge website before they will give you the pills.

You must have 2 negative pregnancy tests before you even start the medication. You also have to have lab work done monthly in addition to the pregnancy test because accutane has serious side effects. they check your liver, your cholesterol levels, etc. Accutane is basically a massive dose of vitamin A and it dries your entire body out (including all the glands that produce acne…). You get VERY dry skin and lips. Lips that get so dry they crack and bleed. You can get patches of eczema. You are very sensitive to the sun and burn easily (im like this all the time anyway). I think it can cause some people stomach problems, it can cause mental health problems (depression, etc) When I say this is a serious drug, I for real mean it.

I was on accutane for 7 months. originally he said I would be on it for around 8-9 months bc mine was very severe. luckily my skin cleared up and I just finished my last dose yesterday after 7 months. I had a pregnancy test again today, you must have one after finishing and then I have another one next month because you cannot get pregnant 30 days AFTER finishing. (I don’t plan on getting pregnant at all). i have a follow up with my dermatologist in 2 months to see how my skin looks. He says the acne shouldn’t come back but sometimes it does. If it does I can chose to do accutane again or try some other things that in the past wouldn’t have worked but now migh.

So what were my results? Am I happy with them? Was all this worth it? Would I do it again? Did I have side effects?

I am very happy with my results. My acne is cleared up. My skin is smooth and I have no texture at all. To be frank, I’ve never seen my face this clear. I truly do not remember a time when my face was like this. Maybe when I was 10. I do have some redness (accutane makes your skin red) but even with that my skin tone is much more even and less red than before. My husband and kids think I look nice too, my husband says I look younger. (I think he’s being polite, LOL). I will say he never complained about my acne before. He always said that it wasn’t my fault my body was like this and he was just sorry that it hurt. He always told me he thought I was beautiful no matter what. I know. He’s very sweet.

My back is completely clear but I have a lot of pigmentation left where it all used to be (not scars) and I know it will take a while for those to fade. I have very fair skin so everything shows. My chest is clear, and my neck is clear. I think my neck was the worst and its the place I’m most happy about. Mostly I’m happy that I don’t bleed in the shower and that I don’t have huge lumps that hurt.

As far as side effects, I think I tolerated this medication pretty well. Maybe my body thought it was easy compared to the methotrexate and other meds I’m on? who knows. But it didn’t mess with my stomach or my mental health. I DO have very dry skin. My lips are extremely dry and would crack. I’ve gone through so much chapstick and moisturizer its crazy, lol. My skin became even more sensitive than ever, like to the point that even my clothes rubbing on my skin would give me a rash. I have been running a lot in the past year (trying to lose weight, its been quite a journey for me y’all) and I have to use ointments under my sports bras, at the waist band of my pants, etc because if I don’t my running clothes rub me raw. My derm said its just because the top layer of your skin becomes VERY thin while on accutane so any amount of friction irritates. Also, my eyes are very dry. I use eye drops. But honestly I went into this expecting severe dryness so it wasn’t a shock. I feel lucky because I know some people have had severe side effects. Oh, and my blood work always came back okay too.

Would I do it again? I definitely wouldn’t be jumping for joy, but I probably would if I thought I needed to.

Would I recommend this to someone struggling with acne? I would say talk to your dermatologist and think it over. Be ready for it and know that its a process and you don’t get results over night. I felt like I was on this stuff forever and not 7 months. I think if you are in a place where you have nothing left to try, etc it might be worth it. But I am not a doctor, so talk to one.

by the way I took a large dose. 3 pills a day. I started out with one a day and we worked up to 3.

Overall, I am happy I did this. it was a long time coming. I am nervous my acne will come back. I’m nervous I will have to go on it again. But I’m just going to wait and see what happens.

I did take progress photos every single month to document the results. I will share them now. Please y’all lets not judge my eyebrows. LOL. I would like to say that this is during quarantine and I took this change to grow out my eyebrows because they thinned out because of the methotrexate I was on (my hair fell out too…). I didn’t groom them for a long time bc my skin was so sensitive I couldn’t wax, etc and I didn’t want to pluck them LOL.

Also, I took all these pics in my bathroom (the dreaded bathroom selfie!) in front of an open window for natural lighting. And well… yeah these pics aren’t great and they are the honest truth (no filter) of what I look like and tried to hide with makeup and filters, etc.

So yeah that’s pretty much a run down of my 7 months on accutane. if you have any questions you can ask below if you want. 🙂